Friday the 13th has struck ERHS, leaving students and staff unsure of what will happen next.
Locker 2706 has recently been reported to have abducted 4 textbooks, a water bottle, 17 pencils, and a student into the void of the gray bins of the lost and found. However, when people try to take things (or students) out of them, they are simply transported back to locker 2706 into an endless loop.
The fire alarms went off today, but unlike the usual situation, there was a real fire! No one was hurt, but the fire department didn’t bother to arrive, claiming that it was those “mischievous 7th graders,” and that they should “return the hall pass and get to class.”
Cafeteria food has become increasingly “sacreligious,” according to Charles-Henry Michael Lubatti III, the ERScream’s food critic. Sacrilegous-ness hit its peak today, and the chocolate milk was no longer consumable, reportedly having turned students Canadian (?) If you know, you know.
The ants have finally taken over our school campus. We all knew it would happen, and it did. Next time you head to Room 216, you won’t see Mr. Hicks, but you will see a 5'11 ant with a plaid shirt and glasses. This isn’t uncommon, so check and see if you turned into one too!
The 110-degree weather has ended, but on Friday the 13th, the school was forced to pick up the pieces and fix the damage it caused. A funeral was held in the horticulture garden for the chickens who roasted during the heatwave.
The Eagle’s Scream will standby and continue to report the uncanny events that occur today. And remember, if we kill those ants, we might get our school back by 2030!
Sacreligious milk?
U CRAK ME UP!