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Writer's pictureKylie Sadsad

Ranking Thanksgiving food


All art by Jarisse Nabung

Thanksgiving. A holiday surrounded by Halloween and Christmas makes it without a doubt the most overlooked yearly event, and honestly, for good reason. Literally the only point of Thanksgiving is eating… and being thankful I guess, but mostly the food. So since this “holiday” is right around the corner, here’s a ranking from the worst to best things on the American Thanksgiving table. 


7) Stuffing

By far the worst thing one can consume on Thanksgiving: Stuffing. Stuffing is horrible. Especially when whoever cooked it is a bad cook, which is half of all Americans. It’s usually drier than the Sahara Desert and is filled with bread that leaves you too stuffed…get it? Anyway, the ratio between vegetables and meat is always off and there’s just better food to fill your plate with on this thankful evening. 


6) Green Bean Casserole

I mean, you have to get your greens in somehow. Green bean casserole may be lower on this list for others, but it’s by far the best way to get some greens on your plate. It has green beans, bacon, fried onions, and filled with cream of mushroom soup. This dish leaves you with a comforting feeling with its heartiness and richness. 


5) Turkey

Honestly, turkey is so delicious when made well; but some, if not most, Americans have no idea how to cook this thing. It’s either too dry, overcooked, or they stuff it with stuffing— the worst combination. However, you still need to have at least one slice of turkey on your plate because tis’ the season. Plus, the turkey leftovers are going to be in your fridge forever so might as well make the most of it.  


4) Pumpkin Pie

Alright. Who doesn’t like pumpkin pie, unless you’re allergic, then sorry, you’re kinda missing out. Whoever made pumpkin pie the Thanksgiving dessert might be an absolute genius; it stays true to the season with it being pumpkin flavored, and it’s wonderful with a dollop of whip cream or vanilla ice cream. Whether you make this from scratch at home, or buy it— I highly recommend the Costco pumpkin pie— this dish will never fail to fill that empty spot left in your stomach after dinner. 


3) Glazed Ham

I definitely grab at least two slices of honey glazed ham then debate to grab more later. It is the most well rounded dish of Thanksgiving dinner; it can be eaten with basically anything on your plate, or even by itself. Plus, this is the only reasonable dish to have an abundance of for leftovers. You can make ham sandwiches, eat it by itself, or make some warm and cozy soup for the winter. It’s versatile and delicious; what more can you ask for?


2) Mashed Potatoes

Considering this dish is potatoes in its best form, mashed potatoes are a staple on all dinner tables this Thanksgiving (and literally all Thanksgivings going forward). Its consistency, taste, and ease to cook, are all factors that contribute to its superiority compared to other Thanksgiving foods. It can be eaten with anything and practically everything, and is an obvious side dish to add to your plate this Thanksgiving. 


1) Mac and Cheese

Despite popular belief, this dish isn’t just a side, it’s the entire meal. If macaroni and cheese were human, it’d be the life of the party, and even though I’m lactose intolerant, I would take that sacrifice for this creamy, cheesy, and delicious dish. Especially when made correctly, that contrast of the baked and crispy top layer with the smooth and creamy inner layer, it’s too yummy to resist. 


Yes, I know, this is a super controversial topic, but you can put whatever Thanksgiving foods you want on the top of your list, and I’ll put whatever Thanksgiving foods I want on mine. However, I will forever and always wholeheartedly respect all your guys’ opinions/rankings (except those who put stuffing first and mac and cheese last).

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